Organization

If you look at my list, you see that I really feel the need to organize. If it's this bad now, I can't imagine how bad it will be when the day comes that I actually start feeling the need to "nest." Anyway, off subject... I organized my list today. Renumbered everything and put everything in a nice, neat, little category.

I realized that the largest category is things I'm doing for myself. At first I thought it seemed a little selfish... I mean seriously... isn't this list supposed to make me a better person? Then I realized, this list is supposed to make me a better person by doing things I feel are important.

At this point in my life, I feel it's very important to focus on myself. I haven't done much of that lately. In the past three years, I've planned a wedding to the standards my family and friends set (truth be told, I didn't like my wedding day, I did however, get an amazing wedding from that day so I wouldn't change a thing), I've also become a wife. I've done lots of things to support Lobster in his career and life. Not that he hasn't done things for me too, but I feel that I finally hit a point in my life where my needs weren't as important as someone else's. I've also started a career. Sure, I get summers off to rejuvenate myself... but ask any teacher, who actually "rejuvenates" in the summers? I do a lot during the summer. Particularly I plan for the next school year.

I've gone months without plucking my eyebrows. I've gained 30 pounds (at my heaviest). I've stopped getting manicures and pedicures. I've even stopped getting my hair trimmed. Maybe that's part of growing up, realizing that your needs are not as important as someone else's.

Now that Lobster and I are seriously thinking about try to conceive I have stopped and thought about what life will be like once a baby comes. I won't have time for myself, I won't be able to travel, I won't have the option to change my lifestyle drastically.

Now is the time. I will change. Starting today.

I no longer feel selfish for making this list mostly about things I want. These are things that will make me a better wife and a great mother when the time comes. This isn't a selfish list, it's a list for everyone else's benefit too.